Guys, this journal comes in four parts!

Part one, Nerdfighters!
I realized as I was listening to [link] (Nerdfigher 'Til The End) that NOT ALL MY WATCHERS, THOUGH PROBABLY MOST, MAY BE FAMILIAR WITH NERDFIGHTERS. WHICH IS TRAGIC.
Okay, Nerdfighters are like regular people, only instead of being made up of tissues and organs and things, we're made of awesome. And we're nerds, which is also neat. And we decrease World Suck by doing cool things like putting stuff on our heads and singing songs.
Nerdfighters were started in 2007 by HANK AND JOHN GREEN when they started a Youtube project to communicate by video blogs for a year, calling the project Brotherhood 2.0. Check them out at [link] because they're hilarious and made of awesome and because you'll quite a lot of my jokes are inside Nerdfighter jokes, k?

Part two, book recommendations! Okay, so since it's summer and people have more free time on their hands to read (ALTHOUGH YOU SHOULD REALLY BE READING A LOT ALL YEAR ROUND) HERE ARE TEN BOOKS TO READ IN THE NEAR FUTURE. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.

1) Little Brother, by Cory Doctorow
The Bay Bridge has been the victim of another terrorist attack. Marcus Yallow, in the wrong place at the wrong time, is taken to an off-shore location and interrogated, along with dozens of other people in the same situation. When he is finally released, he discovers that San Francisco has been turned into a police state by the Department of Homeland Security. He vows to take down the DHS, using cryptology and other very cool technological thingies.
JESUS GOODNESS GUYS, it is because of THIS BOOK that I am able to understand xkcd and all its cryptology jokes! The ideas and premise are both horrifying and fascinating, and the characterization is brilliant. Also, if you've ever lived in California/been to San Francisco a few times, there are a couple of truly hysterical tourist jokes.

2) Night Watch, by Sergei Lukyanenko
I'm not entirely certain how to summarize this, because it's a little complicated, so I'll just shamelessly rip off the publisher's blurb.
"The agents of Light- the Night Watch- oversee nocturnal activity, while the agents of Dark keep watch over the day. For a thousand years, both sides have maintained a precarious balance of power, but an ancient prophecy has decreed that a supreme Other will one day emerge, threatening to tip the scales. Now, that day has arrived. When a mid-level Night Watch agent named Anton stumbles upon a cursed young woman- an uninitiated Other with magnificent potential- both sides prepare for a battle that could lay waste to the entire city, possibly the world."
Okay, this-
hey, it's raining outside. AWESOME. Maybe we'll pull out of this drought, and fiscal crisis. OSHIT. MY STATE IS DYING. D:<
RIGHT SORRY. GETTING BACK ON TRACK NAO.
Okay, so if you're looking for some sort of epic dark contemporary fantasy book after the horror that was Stephenie Meyer, READ THIS BOOK. Guys. HARD-CORE RUSSIAN FANTASY. The writing is absolutely STUNNING, too, with fascinating moral dilemmas about the basic nature of Good and Evil.

3) World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
No summary needed. The title does it all. :3
A couple months ago, I made the large mistake of attempting to read Generation Dead, a book in which dead teenagers are coming back to life and trying to come back to their normal lives. OH HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS, this book did to zombies what Twilight did to vampires. Only worse. At least Meyer replaced the aversion to sunlight with something very thinly plausible, albeit also very very gay. Generation Dead just completely threw out all the basic principles of zombies, and GAWD was the writing ever terrible. It read EXACTLY like a crappy Itachi/OC fanfiction.
BUT GETTING BACK ON TRACK, World War Z saved my mind from the total desecration this stupendously bad book had wrought on it. The zombies are actual ZOMBIES, actual scare-the-mother-effing-shit-out-of-you zombies, and the accounts and interviews it's told in make it so damn realistic, you almost wonder how you managed to miss this huge war it's talking about. The underlying issues of human morality also provide wonderful subtext to the drama. I'm currently working on zombie-proofing my house for the next war.

4) The Wee Free Men, by Terry Pratchett
Lolcat summary tiemz!
IM IN UR FAIRYLAND
STEELIN BAK MUH BEBBY BRUDDA
KAWZIN HAVOK
N BEEIN JENERULLY AWSUM
It's by Terry Pratchett. Do I need to tell you more?
But seriously, of all of Terry Pratchett's books, this one has got to be my favorite. It's about Tiffany Aching, who is quite possible the best heroine ever ever ever ever, and it's got the Wee Free Men, a bunch of fightin', stealin', tiny blue-skinned pictsies, who fear nothing other than lawyers! And who were kicked out of Fairyland for being drunk! AWESOMETASTICAL.

5) Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, by David Sedaris
A collection of essays by David Sedaris, who is the funniest. Essay. Writer. Ever. Ever. Contains mishaps such as the number for his cleaning service being mixed up with the number for an erotic cleaning service by a, um, interesting client, and his little brother, the self-titled "Rooster". Also, you should read Me Talk Pretty One Day, particularly if you're learning/have learned French through the public school system, because half of it is when he and his boyfriend moved to France for a while. And it's hysterical.

6) The Year of Secret Assignments, by Jaclyn Moriarty
QUICK TAKE A BREAK AND GO WATCH A BROTHERHOOD 2.0 VIDEO LIKE ME
CHEWIE/SOLO 2012
Okay, back to book reviewing!
The Year of Secret Assignments is a book written in letters, diary entries, more letters, entries in a Notebook(TM), school announcements, etc, which makes for very cool reading. Basically, there are these two schools, they're rivals, they hate each other's guts because one is a private school and the other one has lots of criminal records, etc, etc, and evil English teachers at both the school's have a letter exchange between the two schools. The book focuses on three friends, Em, Lydia, and Cass, as they write letters to Charlie, Sebastian, and Matthew. Interesting things happen, fire alarms get pulled, tests are stolen right out of a teacher's car, wine gets added to recipes, among other illegal things, and also there is some "very excellent kissing", as the blurb put it.
FANTASTIC CHARACTERIZATION, and also the writing style is completely epic. And it takes place in either Australia or New Zealand, so they say things like 'arse'. 8D

7) When You Catch an Adjective, Kill It, by Ben Yagoda
It's basically a book on the parts of speech. Only it's funny and interesting, unlike a textbook.
SRSLY GAIS, even if you're not a grammar nerd like me, READ IT. Because it makes you care by being fascinating. KTHX.

8) An Abundance of Katherines (in your pants), by John Green
After being dumped by the nineteenth girl named Katherine he's dated, former prodigy Colin Singleton and Hassan, his fat best friend, take a road trip that ends up not actually being much of a road trip when they stop in a smallish town and have adventures.
Yes, John Green is a YA author. This book is therefore automatically made of awesome. Also, it's very funny, and contains lots of amusing footnotes that teach you a small amount of Arabic (consisting of a lot of swear words, actually).

9) The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, by E. Lockhart
Locked out of her boyfriend's secret society, Frankie Landau-Banks sets out on a mission to force her way in and bring some EKWUL RITES into her patriarchal school.
The pranks Frankie orchestrates in this book are
The writing is also absolutely lovely, and Frankie, who could very easily have strayed into Mary-Sue-dom, is actually real. HELLZ TO THE YES. Also, you should read If At All Possible, Involve a Cow, by Neil Steinberg, which is where a lot of the pranks in it came from.

10) We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families, by Phillip Gourevitch
Stories from Rwanda. This books is horrifyingly real, and incredibly important to read and understand. Also kinda depressing, but written in such a way that the horror of these atrocities doesn't deter from the reading.

Part three, Half-Blood Prince!
OH MY GOD.
IT'S SO CLOSE.
AFTER SO MANY MONTHS.
IT'S ALMOST HERE.
I AM SO ROBERT FROST-ING EXCITED (nerd jokes, nerd jokes!).

Part four- shit.
SORRY
I HAVEN'T GOT A PART FOUR
HOLD ON WHILE I THINK OF ONE.
Okay, part four, EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO THE BEATLES FOR A WHILE OKAY.
Wait
I remember what I was going to do for part four.
I was going to do a ten best albums of evurrrr, but I just spent forever on this journal entry because I write slow (not type slow, though, which is just stupidly disproportionate), so SORRY MAYBE LATER.

BUT YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT
ALL RIGHT